Introduction

from A Life in the Balance

My father passed away on July 19, 1996 from a metasticized melanoma. That was the second time cancer had struck my family. The first was when I battled an osteo sarcoma more than five years before he died. When he was first diagnosed, I simply assumed he would survive like I did. As his condition worsened and we realized that his survival was unlikely, I began to look more at the life he had led than at his dying.

I wasn't shocked nor did I fear for him even though I knew the pain I went through. In a strange way, I was proud of him. Dad responded to the call, not only of facing cancer and his death, but of facing his life. I wanted to be around him while he did that and to remain a part of his life as long as I could. Although the disease ultimately took away his ability to recognize me, we sometimes were able to look at each other and laugh the way we used to before he had cancer.

By the time my father was diagnosed, I had been speaking about cancer for almost two years, hoping to help others facing cancer find joy in their lives even within their illnesses, even within their pain. I knew that in every discussion of cancer loomed the fear of death, but rarely did it also include the miracle of life. As my father passed away, I got to see both.

Of the many ways there are to approach cancer, I see two as being the most important. Many people are raising funds, doing research and everything they can to stop the horrible disease. The world's ability to fight cancer and win would not be nearly as great without these people -- most of us owe our lives to them, not only because they have cured us, but because they have also taught us how to avoid cancer.

But I sometimes wonder if maybe it's not so important whether we cure cancer or not. It seems as if there will always be another disease to take its place -- AIDS, diabetes, heart disease, and there seem to be new ones discovered every day. Maybe an even worse disease is the fearof cancer, the fearof any disease, the fear not of death, but of life.

My desire, during my cancer was to , like my father, answer the call -- to laugh, smile and embrace life as long as possible. This story is how I tried to do that.

This book is for both the people who want to laugh and find joy in every situation in life -- as well as those who are afraid of life. Being afraid of life is the real disease: And that one is curable.